As the year slowly turns towards the darker months, something within us changes too.
Nature retreats, slows down, and we too turn more inwards.
The cool mornings, shortening days, and longer evenings seem to reinforce:
it's time to arrive at yourself.
This period tests the soul.
The external darkness amplifies internal voices: questions, stuckness, and
unspoken desires.
At such times, it's especially important to have something that holds you.
Something you can always return to.
This is ritual.
Routine or ritual? It matters.
Routine is what we do out of obligation.
Ritual is what we do from the heart.
Routine provides security, but ritual also provides presence.
When you perform a ritual – whether it's a morning tea, lighting a candle, or
a few minutes of silence – you are not just acting, but connecting.
With yourself.
With time.
With life.
And this connection is what can provide the greatest stability.
Because when you know you are there for yourself, no matter what happens around you, there will be
an inner pillar of support that holds you.
This inner security is what rituals teach.
Consistency: loyalty to yourself
Many ask how to stick to habits.
The answer is simple:
it's not motivation that sustains you, but commitment.
Motivation comes and goes.
But when you have something you value, something you believe in, it's no longer a question of
whether you "feel like it" – you simply do it.
If you dedicate just 10–15 minutes to yourself every day,
if you quietly drink tea from your favorite mug in the morning,
if you write down three points of gratitude in the evening,
or just take three deep breaths,
with that, you say yes to yourself every day.
And when you say yes to yourself,
the world also begins to react to you differently.
Not selfishness, but self-love
Many of us, especially women, feel that taking time for ourselves is selfish.
As if guilt accompanies every minute we don't spend on others.
But it's exactly the opposite.
If you are well, those around you will also be better off.
Just as on an airplane, you first put on your own oxygen mask ✈️ –
because if you are not well, you cannot help anyone.
All balance starts from within.
When you are alright, your family, friends, and colleagues will also feel it.
Because we are part of a larger whole.
Rituals help with this: to remind you that you are there for yourself.
And this is not selfishness, but self-love.
The quiet power of rituals
Self-love is not loud, not spectacular, not postable.
Self-love is quiet.
The steam of a morning tea.
The light of a candle.
A deep breath you take just for yourself.
So don't think of grand things if you want to incorporate rituals into your life.
It's enough to start small.
You don't have to wake up at five in the morning and do an hour of yoga if you've never done it before.
It's enough to dedicate just ten minutes to yourself, take a short walk, or just say to yourself:
I am here now, and I am paying attention to myself.
Tips for incorporating your own rituals
1. Start small.
Don't try to change everything at once. 10–15 minutes a day dedicated to yourself is enough.
2. Don't wait for motivation.
Motivation is fleeting. The key is to start. Just do it.
3. Choose something easy.
Start with a ritual that you can easily fit into your day – for example, a walk, a short stretch, or a few lines of journaling.
4. Don't beat yourself up if you miss it.
Rituals are not about performance, but about connection. Be kind and accepting of yourself.
5. Find what truly nourishes your soul.
This could be a morning tea, a scented candle, a few pages of a book, or a few minutes of silence.
The main thing is that it nourishes you.
Closing thought
Rituals are quiet forms of self-love.
Small, sacred moments with which you can return to yourself every day.
You don't have to be perfect.
Just be present.
And again and again, say yes to yourself.
Lighting a Melt my mood scented candle can be the first step.
I believe in you,
Eszter
*Author: dr. Eszter Béres
