I confess: I've always had a strange, constricting feeling about New Year's Eve.
As if the whole thing was a bit forced.
Forced accounting.
Forced evaluation.
Forced fresh start.
As if on December 31st at midnight, it was mandatory to close, let go, make resolutions, start a new life.
And yet, sometimes all you want is to sit down for a while.
In silence.
By the light of a candle.
To finally do nothing – just feel where you truly are right now.
I increasingly feel – and see – that you can restart not only in January.
You can restart anytime.
On a Monday morning.
On a quiet Tuesday.
Or on an evening when you light a Melt My Mood scented candle, and let your body and nervous system arrive.
You don't need a new year for that.
Just honesty.
And a moment that's all about you.
Change is not calendar-dependent.
We often see this at the beginning of the year: gyms are full. In January, there's determination, in February, thinning out, and by March, everything returns to normal.
Not because people are weak.
But because they tied the change to an external date, not an internal decision.
Yet, true decisions are often not loud.
Not spectacular.
But quiet.
Like when you slow down in the evening, light a candle, and tell yourself: "Now I'm paying attention. Now I'm focusing on myself."
This is also change.
In fact, often this is where everything begins.
The trap of year-end review
For many, the end of the year is a time for comparison.
Where I was and where I got to.
What I achieved.
Where others are.
And imperceptibly, we forget to ask the more important question:
How am I in all of this?
We measure things that appear in the outside world – objects, results, statuses.
Meanwhile, the biggest changes often happen internally.
In a sigh.
In a relief.
On an evening when you finally stop pushing yourself, and just sit there in the twilight, letting the scents, memories, and feelings wash over you.
These cannot be posted.
But they are still real.
What changes within finds its way out
Perhaps this year you learned to say no.
Perhaps you already notice when your body is tense.
Perhaps you take better care of yourself – even by making space for evening slowdowns, for the small rituals that sustain you.
These are huge things.
Even if no one else sees them.
What changes within will sooner or later manifest outwardly.
Always.
You don't have to plan everything now.
At the beginning of the year, we often feel like we need to figure everything out in advance.
Goals.
Directions.
Lists.
But maybe that's not what you need right now.
Maybe the greatest gift right now is to stop.
To appreciate yourself for all you've been through.
To allow yourself to be "melted" by the mood – not pushed, not rushed.
This year has been difficult for many of us.
And yet here you are.
What's worth looking at now
Perhaps it helps if you light a Melt My Mood scented candle and think through:
- Look at where you were, and where you want to go.
- Notice the internal changes that have already happened.
- Look at who surrounds you, who provides security.
- Flip through the memories on your phone – how much beauty there was even where it was difficult.
- And create small rituals for yourself. Moments when you allow yourself to slow down, to feel the warm light, the scents, the presence.
The end of the year is not a judgment.
The beginning of the year is not a race.
Maybe now you don't need to restart.
Just find your way home to yourself.
And from there – at your own pace – move forward.
Hugs, Eszter
*Author: Dr. Eszter Béres
IG: @bodyandmindmentoring
